One of the beautiful things about motherhood is that we’re all entitled to do what we believe is best.  While I had absolutely no intention of having a natural childbirth, I know that a non-medicated delivery is very important to many moms. So, I reached out to a friend who was willing to share her experiences from how to prepare for a natural childbirth to how she got survived labor and delivery medication free.  This is a guest post from wife, social worker, and mommy of one, Shannon Myers.

How to Prepare for a Natural Childbirth

Know Your Why?

I strongly believe that one of the very first things you need to do if you’re even considering having a natural childbirth, is to begin to identify WHY natural childbirth is important to you by making a list of reasons. You might only have 2 or 3 reasons when you start your list, which is totally ok; if this is something that is meant to be, your list will continue to grow over the duration of your pregnancy! The next step is to research, research, RESEARCH! Read credible sources that can give you viable statistics and facts. Watch documentaries, birth and informational videos. Read blogs by women who had both good and bad birthing experiences; blogs where maybe the plan was to have a natural childbirth but may have ended up calling for a need of medical assistance…and blogs of happy and healthy natural experiences. This will give you the chance to see that not only are no two pregnancies the same, but no two labor and deliveries are the same—even if it’s the same woman.

NOTE: A great way to learn more and educate yourself on all things childbirth, is by taking the online course, Birth it Up.   The course is taught by a labor and delivery nurse and the information is priceless.  If focuses on women who want to deliver their babies naturally (but I found it extremely useful and I had an epidural).  It’s also the most affordable prenatal course I could find when I was pregnant (and you can use the code COFFEEANDCOOS for an additional 10% off).

Even if you don’t sign up for the course, you have to check out Liesel’s Instagram account.  It’s an amazing resource for all expecting mamas!  You can learn more about Birth it Up and register for the course here.

Do Your Research

Far before we ever got pregnant, I had begun studying up on natural childbirth, breastfeeding and natural parenting. Giving my body the opportunity to do what it was naturally created to do was something that was always very important to me. However, please know that doesn’t mean that I think less of mothers who have absolutely no desire to have a medication free childbirth; what I can appreciate more than anything is the fact that we as women have the ability to make our own choices and decisions when it comes to our bodies and how we choose to give birth.

When we got pregnant in October 2015, I began to read blogs and stories written by mothers who had also chosen a medication free birth—both stories of success and stories where the ending was different than what they had intended. I read many articles that quoted facts and statistics regarding medicated childbirth, medication-free childbirth, C-sections, home births, doulas and midwives. And of course I watched many, many birthing videos…where I cried my eyes out because I couldn’t wait for the day where I could experience the miracle of bringing life into this world.

However, if there was anything that truly sealed my decision to make a medication free childbirth my ultimate goal, it was watching “The Business of Being Born.” I can honestly say that documentary TOTALLY and COMPLETELY changed my life; it provided me with the motivation that I desperately needed to make it a goal to allow my body to take control of the birthing process and to let it do what it was DESIGNED to do.

Outside of the fact that women have been birthing children without medication since the beginning of time, which was a reason I often gave when asked why I wanted to have a natural child birth, I had some other pretty solid reasons as to why I wanted to have a natural and medication free labor and delivery. When reading these statistics, remember it’s not to sway anyone’s choice or decision, but to provide accurate and true information that we, as women, are sometimes completely ignorant to. These were ultimately my motivating reasons. (FYI, all of these statistics were pulled from the BOBB, which was produced in 2008; so keep in mind that some of the stats are 10 years old).

1. In the early 1900’s, 95% of births took place in the home; however, by 1938 that number had lowered to half and by 2008, it had shrank all the way down to less than 1%. We can argue technology and mother/infant mortality all day; however, the truth is, USA is ranked at #170, at 5.5% with 52 other countries ranked BELOW the USA in infant mortality (https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/).

2. Hospitals are businesses—they have to make money. There are many claims of doctors not listening to the mother, giving them medication without authorization or attempting to rush a birth in order to have the baby delivered by the end of the doctor’s shift—which means labor inducing medication or even a C-section. I have personally witnessed a woman being given medication to delay delivery until the doctor could get there when she was ready to push.

3. 95% of women COULD have a medication free labor and delivery, but only 2%…yes—TWO, choose to.

Always keep in mind that hospitals, doctors and medication aren’t the only option, (please keep in mind that I would NEVER recommend going throughout pregnancy without prenatal care from a professional). In 1940-60’s a medication called scopolamine was a commonly used because it was believed to stop the pain of childbirth; however, after years of study, it was proven that the drug actually took away the “memory” of the pain and not the pain itself and as a result, left many women suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome. Additionally, there are statistics in which support that receiving pelvic x-rays, which was a onetime a standard practice, actually caused babies to develop cancer. The infamous drug thalidomide, which was used for morning sickness, was found to cause birth defects. In the 1990’s the drug Cytotec, which was used to stimulate contractions, was found to cause ruptured uteruses. Today there are many stories of Mom’s never feeling 100% after having a needle inserted into their spine for their epidural—furthermore, Mothers who receive an epidural are 6x’s more likely to have a C-section. As women, we need to keep in mind that a C-section is an actual SURGERY (and expensive one at that)…and while risks are low the first time, the more times a woman has one, the more the risks go up. Lastly, when a woman is in labor, she naturally produces oxytocin, also known as the “love” hormone, which helps the mother get through labor and often to feel a much closer bond and connection when the baby arrives. When a woman is struggling to progress through labor, Pitocin is often used, which is a synthetic (fake…or artificial) version of oxytocin. Pitocin can cause fetal distress, which increases the chances of a C-section and can also cause the mother to struggle with connecting to their newborn baby since the hormone wasn’t naturally produced.

A lot of women thought I was nuts—and a LOT of women laughed at me and said things like, “ha! Good luck…you’ll be begging for an epidural the moment those contractions pick up.” Which really irked me because I felt that as women, we should be encouraging one another, rather than trying to terrify each other about one of the most natural and purest processes in human life. The doubt of others fueled me and made me want to prove them wrong so I could rub the fact that I achieved my birth goal (not plan) in their face—but then I’d remind myself that THEY were NOT the reason I wanted a natural and medication free labor and delivery…my BABY was. I was not going to let someone else determine my success or failure—I was going to give my all and if I needed medical intervention at the end of the day, I promised myself that I wouldn’t feel as though I had failed. I couldn’t allow myself to feel like a failure, and I certainly wasn’t going to let others define my successes and failures.

So, first things first…identify your WHY and once you’ve started that process, begin researching. Read as much as you can…watch as many videos and documentaries as you possibly can. Talk to other Mom’s who are supportive of your decision and who are willing to share their experiences and advice. That is where the process begins.

Meditate

At about 4 months into my pregnancy, I began to learn the process of self-meditation. I figured out what sounds, smells and feelings put me in a peaceful state. I paid attention to my breathing and would practice filling my lungs completely—with the vision of filling my body up with air, all the way down to my toes. I researched essential oils and learned that the smell of lavender took me on a one-way train to Peaceland (and still does). Warm baths were my go-to (although not too hot though, for it’s not good for the baby) filled with lavender Epsom salt and bubble bath, which soothed my achy joints. I downloaded a bunch of ocean and thunder music, which I’d play very low in a room dimmed with candles and I’d practice taking in slow, deep, full breaths until I could feel myself drifting off into a state of weightlessness.

A friend (who was also our birth photographer) sent me a digital version of “Hypnobabies,” which if you have never heard of it before, it’s defined as “a method of childbirth preparation that uses hypnotic techniques, imagery and visualization to re-program the inner mind in a very positive way, and eliminate pain and fear from the birthing experience.” There were times that the recording would make me giggle, but when it actually came time to giving birth, I reminded myself of the visions that I had painted while listening to Hypnobabies and I believe it truly did help.

Now, I know some of these things may be difficult for you if this is your second+ child…as a Mom, we never truly get time to ourselves. However, if you could carve out 10-20 minutes out of your day to take time to work on self-mediation, I can promise that not only will you be preparing yourself for childbirth, but you will also be decreasing some of your everyday stresses and anxieties. So, listen to calming music in the car after dropping off the kids, take your lunch break at a park, get up or lay down 10-20 minutes earlier than normal; wherever you can find time in life, squeeze in some time to meditate.

Note: Another powerful and affordable meditation option is Mediation for Birth, a 5 track meditation series designed to keep you calm and present during labor and delivery.

Mentally Prepare for the Big Day

I suffer from pretty bad anxiety and the thought of not knowing when I would go into labor drove me absolutely insane! I would think about all the different scenarios—would I be at work? Driving my car? Out in public? Or would I be lucky enough to be home? What would it feel like? What would I do? How soon could my husband get to me if he wasn’t where I was? I knew I had no control over when my baby would come, so the only way I could project his arrival was to be fully aware of my body and its changes.

As I said before, every woman and every pregnancy is different. For me, I was in labor and didn’t even know it until my water broke as I was trying to sleep. While others have to have their water broken by their doctor because labor has been taking so long. So you need to know all of the possible signs to look out for and the only way to do that is to ask your doctor, research and ask plenty of other Mom’s how their labor began. Doing research to identify what it looks and feels like for your body to be preparing for childbirth will help you begin to mentally prepare for what’s getting ready to take place.

Create Birth Affirmations

I looked over my birth affirmations. “You CAN do it; you WILL do it.” “Your body was designed for this.” “Pain with a purpose.” I looked over my 10 reasons of why I wanted a medication-free, natural childbirth.

If you’re looking for a fun and relaxing way to practice birth affirmations, check out the birth affirmation coloring book. It’s 20 beautiful adult coloring pages with empowering birth affirmations.  This is the perfect way to destress and prepare for labor and delivery.

Keep it Moving

I refused to be stationary. I knew if I wanted this baby to come on his own, I couldn’t just lay in a bed and expect my body to prepare itself to push out a baby….so, we walked. Circles and circles and circles. Up and down up and down the hallways.  I decided it was time to slow myself down a little bit, because I didn’t want to use all of my energy when I needed it to push a baby out…so, I asked the nurse to bring me the birthing ball. I sat on the ball for an hour…rocking my hips side-to-side, front to back, breathing through the contractions.

Have a Good Support System

Having people who not only understand but also respect your choice to have a medication free, natural labor and delivery is absolutely essential. During my pregnancy, my husband read books, blogs and articles; he sat right by my side as we watched documentaries and YouTube videos together. He wanted to support me the best way he possibly could during my L&D and being informed and educated helped him to not only support my decision, but also to advocate for me if need be.

Identify someone to be your support person—whether it be your partner, Mom, sister, best friend…really anyone you trust and believe in; and most importantly, someone who trusts and believes in you—and explain to them why a natural childbirth is important to you (having your list of reasons will help you when describing to them your “why”). You don’t want anyone who doubts your abilities or someone who may try to encourage you to turn to medication in moments of vulnerability during labor. Instead, you want to ensure that this person not only understands your reasons, but also believes in you and your ability to achieve the goal that you’ve set for yourself.

With your support person, discuss possible scenarios that could occur during L&D (always keep in mind that the whole process doesn’t always, if ever, go as planned,) and develop an understanding of what your expectations are of them. Explain to them the best things that they can say and/or do to help you through labor. Tell them the things you absolutely do NOT want them to do/say…and most importantly, tell them the things you absolutely do NOT want the doctors or nurses to do unless intervention is truly necessary. You want your support person to know what your ideal way to labor and deliver is; make sure they have a strong presence and that they will truly advocate for you if need be.

One thing you have to keep in mind is that when you’re in labor, you are completely and totally vulnerable. You’re in pain that comes in waves; it’s nagging and keeps coming back with vengeance. So your support person should motivate you, remind you of your reasons and repeat birth affirmations in those tough times during labor.

Get Your Doctor On Board

It’s also important that your doctor is aware of your birthing goals and intentions. If experiencing a healthy pregnancy, I recommend talking to your doctor at about week 35 about how you would like the labor process to go. From my understanding, doctors and nurses get frustrated with written birth plans (and I kind of think it’s a jinx) but, if you feel like you need to provide that, then do what you feel is right! You want to ensure that your doctor supports your decision and will not use medical intervention unless necessary. Like your support person, they should motivate you—remind you that you can do it, keep you updated on your progress, where the baby is and coach you through the birthing process. It’s essential to have a doctor that supports you.

In my own personal experience, I told my doctor at my 35 week appointment what my birth goal was. After I told her my reasons, she expressed how pleased she was with all of my research and that she was proud of the decision I had made. She was 100% on board with my idea and knew I wanted no medical intervention during the labor and delivery process. We also spoke in regards to how I wanted the baby placed directly on me immediately after he was born. This was all very important to me and my feelings and thoughts were acknowledged.

Do Things on Your Own Terms

When having your first child, there is really no way to describe what labor feels like…and there is truly nothing to compare it to, in my own personal opinion. To prepare yourself to feel a pain that you’ve never experienced is virtually impossible. So, when the time finally comes and you begin feeling those waves of pain growing stronger and stronger, do exactly what your body is telling you to do. Need to walk? Walk. Need to get in a crouching position? Crouch, sister! Need to rock your hips on a birthing ball? Rock ‘em then! Labor is painful and so very uncomfortable, so listening to your body and its needs, is important to get yourself through those contractions.

Ask for constant updates from your nurse and/or doctor in regards to how far you’re dilated, effaced and how far apart/how long your contractions are. Thinking of labor as a process, which has different phases, is important because as each phase passes, you know you are moving towards the ultimate goal.

Know Your Worth

I had promised myself many, many times that if I wasn’t able to have a natural, unmedicated childbirth, that I wouldn’t be disappointed in myself. Again, how was I supposed to know what it felt like to go through labor? And what was I supposed to know what it felt like to birth a baby? I would always say, “I intend on having a natural L&D; but, I’ll do anything to keep my baby and myself safe.” I couldn’t allow myself to feel like a “failure” if I didn’t fulfill my idea because the fact that I grew and birthed a human was a success in itself.

With that being said, I wish I could explain the absolute joy my soul felt when I brought my son earthside—completely and totally medication-free. All of the pain I felt prior to seeing his face, to hearing his cry, had completely and totally dissipated the moment I laid eyes on him. Out breath, tears of accomplishment fell from my eyes as I looked up at my doctor and said, “I DID IT, I DID IT, I DID IT!”  With a needle in her hand, as she stitched up a small tear, she gave me a fist bump and said, “YES, YOU DID! I AM SO, SO, SO PROUD OF YOU!” I kept repeating to no one in particular, “I did it. I did it. I. DID. IT!” After giving birth, I swear, I could have lifted up a car over my head. I could have climbed the tallest mountain. I could have flown a plane. I could have done anything…ANYTHING…because I just brought life into this world…and I FELT EVERY. SINGLE. OUNCE of it.

Momma, you are capable of ALL things, know that. In my eyes, you are, WE are, superhero’s with the superhuman capability of growing, birthing and nourishing our tiny humans—all with our own bodies. Think about that. And as I finish this, I sit here with tears welling up in my eyes because I sincerely hope that what I have written will encourage someone to at least give natural childbirth a second thought. I hope that someone, anyone, will read this and say “you know what, I think I can do this…or I’m going to at least try.” I know not every woman’s pain tolerance is the same and I know not all women find the thought of truly experiencing childbirth in its most purest form appealing, but do me a favor and give it a thought…let it be an option.

DISCLOSURE: Coffee and Coos is not intended to replace the advice of a medical professional. Always consult your doctor for medical advice.

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