Bethany Fox Pregnancy and Birth Story

Surprise! Although my pregnancy wasn’t planned, it most certainly was NOT unwanted. We weren’t trying to get pregnant, but we weren’t preventing, either. We were just waiting on God’s timing and trusting His plan for us.

I took the pregnancy test early in the morning and immediately woke up my husband to tell him. I hadn’t expected it to be positive because I took the test on a whim, so I couldn’t wait to share the news with him! We told one set of parents and my siblings in person because we all live in the same state, but we told the rest of our parents and siblings by calling or Skyping them. Although we told friends as we saw them, we waited until 12 weeks to share the news on social media. When we did, we announced that we were adding ONE member to the family, which we found out later wasn’t true because we were expecting twins!

I liked all three trimesters of my pregnancy because they were all unique. The first trimester was full of excitement—sharing the news with others, hearing the heartbeat for the first time (if only we’d looked for TWO heartbeats early on!), and moving from an apartment into a house. I wasn’t too sick and I was mostly able to keep up a normal routine, so I didn’t really feel pregnant during a lot of the first trimester. The second trimester was definitely the easiest and also very fun because that is when we found out I was having twins! The third trimester was exciting because I knew we were going to meet our girls soon, and we just couldn’t wait. Although it was the toughest, the third trimester was still special because of what it represented.

I loved my Ovia Pregnancy app! I was so excited to know what size the baby was and what I should expect to happen. Even though the information wasn’t accurate anymore once I found out I was having twins, I still enjoyed the app because I could track my symptoms and feelings. It also had an option to ask questions to other moms and compare what was happening in people’s pregnancies.

Yes! I’m a planner and I just couldn’t stand the thought of not knowing. We were hoping for a boy but we found out we were having two girls! Even though it took me a while to adjust to the news, I can see now that God knew exactly what we needed. If we have more children, we’re thinking about waiting to find out the gender, but we’ll see what happens when the time comes!

Other than the pregnancy being high-risk simply because we were having multiples, there really weren’t any complications. The doctors told me to expect to fail the gestational diabetes test, but I passed. They also told me to be ready for delivery at any point after 28 weeks, but I made it to 35 weeks. I was blessed to have a fairly easy pregnancy, and I’m so thankful.

I delivered via a scheduled c-section because the doctors were concerned about my girls’ small sizes. If you’d asked me what I wanted nine months prior, I would’ve told you I was having a natural delivery, no doubt. When the time came, though, I was thankful for the experience and I think it went very well. The doctors, nurses, and anesthesiologist were all very skilled and compassionate, and I had a quick and easy recovery.

The best and worst part was all the adrenaline that was running through my body. I know that sounds weird, but it was the worst because I wasn’t expecting it and it was so distracting. As soon as I stepped foot in the OR, I started shaking uncontrollably. The doctors told me they’d get me warm blankets as soon as I got the spinal tap, but I wasn’t even cold. They said it must’ve been adrenaline, but then the drugs were in and I felt kind of mentally fuzzy so it was difficult to process. I didn’t stop shaking during the entire c-section, and my husband even told me later I looked like I was seizing a couple times because I was shaking so hard. I shook the entire time I was in the PACU and during the whole ride to the NICU to see my babies. I was actually afraid to hold them because they were so small and I thought they would just shake right out of my arms. The nurses told me not to worry and that once I was holding them, I would calm down. They were right! As soon as P and C were in my arms, my body was calm. It was the best part because it was unique to my experience and it made the night that much more memorable. I had done so much research about what to expect from a c-section, but I’d never read anything about someone having so much adrenaline pumping through them that they started shaking like that. I’ll never forget how amazing it was to hold my babies and have my body immediately calm down. It is truly a miracle how our bodies know what to do in situations like pregnancies and births and recoveries!

Thankfully no! All my research had me worried about a c-section because so many women present their birth stories in a way that makes it seem like you will have the exact same experience they did, but that just isn’t true. I was blessed to have a complication-free c-section delivery, and because of that I have no fear about doing it again if we have more children.

My girls were born at 9:15pm and 9:16pm on February 12, 2017. They were both 16 inches long and P weighed 3lbs 14oz and C was 3lbs 15oz.

My first twelve days of motherhood were spent in the NICU, watching my girls fight to be able to thrive on their own. At the time it didn’t bother me as much, I think because I knew exactly what to expect. Remembering it all now, I get choked up thinking about their tiny feet getting pricked to draw blood, their little feeding tubes that they kept trying to pull out, and trying to carefully hold them without getting all their wires tangled. Even though our NICU experience was better than most because the girls needed little intervention comparatively, it still took its toll. While I was in the hospital recovering, I only returned to my room to rest and get medicine, and sometimes I wouldn’t even do that and my nurse would come find me in the NICU. Once I was discharged, someone dropped me off at the hospital in the morning and then my husband came after work to spend time with the girls and then take me home to rest. I stayed in their room for their last two nights in the NICU, and then the happy day came when we brought them home. It was cold and snowy and we had to buy special car seats because they were only 4lbs, but it was still the most exciting day!

In college I studied Human Development and Family studies, so I got a lot of great pregnancy and parenting advise in the form of lectures and study groups. One of the best things I learned was that babies feed off of your emotions, which a lot of parents don’t realize. Some moms seem like they’re going crazy and they talk about how insane their kids are, but when you look at their life you can really see where the kids get it from. Other parents are super calm and laid-back and they talk about how great their kids are, and again it’s easy to see why. While everyone’s situation is unique and kids may pick up on more or less of their parents’ emotions, I’ve tried to keep this idea in the back of my mind since the beginning. For our family, it’s been incredibly true and I can see how my daughters pick up on what I’m feeling and the ways it affects them. Being aware of this has helped me so much and I can try to handle situations in a way that is best for my girls, which means it’s best for me, too!

I think a lot of people tend to say things like, “Well you HAVE to do this…” or “You NEED that…” or “This IS going to happen…” but the truth is that your experience is unique to you! Don’t compare what is happening to everyone else’s lives because you probably won’t find the comfort you are looking for. Lean on the Lord to provide the strength you need and to give you the knowledge to make the decisions that are the best for YOU and YOUR family. Even in the toughest times, know that this is fleeting and the struggle won’t last forever, but neither will the happy moments so we need to cherish it all.