How to Gently Wean your Toddler
After 13+ months, we are officially done breastfeeding (insert happy face and sad face here). I am so grateful to have had the ability to provide milk for Weston for over a year, and for the beautiful breastfeeding bond we shared. However, as Weston’s first birthday slowly approached, I decided it was time to start the weaning process (for several reasons). If you are a momma who is ready to start gently weaning, but you’re not sure where to start, I hope our successful experience can help.
Decide on an End Date
Obviously the first step in weaning is deciding when you’d like to be done breastfeeding. I’m not saying go to the calendar, circle a day, and stick to it, I’m suggesting determining a time frame that you’d like to shoot for. For me, I decided that I’d like to be finished right around the one year mark. We are discussing baby number two and I want to get my body running normally before we started trying to conceive (I did not have a period the entire first year). And, I’m not afraid to say, I kind of want to have my body to myself for a few months before we start all over again. Whatever your reasons are, you don’t need to justify them or feel guilty for wanting to wean. Breastfeeding is hard and making it to any age is an accomplishment.
Gradually Cut Nursing Sessions
Once you decide when you’d like to be done weaning, the next step is to work backwards. Determine how long you have until your end date and start mapping out when you’ll cut down on feedings. I cut out one feeding a month until we were completely finished. Our timeline looked something like this:
September: Cut After Nap Feedings
October: Cut Before Nap Feedings
November: Cut Bedtime Feeding
December: Cut Morning Feeding (aka… done!)
Cutting down feedings one at a time made things easier for both Weston and I. He barely realized he was missing anything, and my milk production was able to slow down at a gradual pace. If your child favors certain feedings over others, I recommend cutting those feedings last. Weston really loved his morning nursing sessions and his bedtime nursing sessions, so those were the last to go. By the time we were ready to cut the very last session (morning), he wasn’t even really interested in it anymore. My supply had dwindled and he would get frustrated and ask for a sippy cup.
Try Offering Milk in a Sippy Cup
This brings me to my next tip; try offering milk in a sippy cup. I was blessed to have been able to build a fairly significant freezer stash while I was nursing, so Weston is still able to have breastmilk whenever he wants it. As that stash starts to dwindle, my plan is to start adding more and more cow’s milk each day until his cups are solely cow’s milk. If you don’t have any expressed milk, just try offering cow’s milk in a sippy cup. If your baby isn’t into it, you can try almond milk, soy milk, or cashew milk. Sometimes milk that’s a little sweeter will do the trick. (Note: If your child is under one year old, offer formula in a sippy cup or bottle).
Related: How to Build a Breast Milk Freezer Stash
Be Flexible
During the weaning process, there are absolutely going to be days where your child asks to nurse (or in my case, just help themselves). Don’t be too strict with yourself or your timeline. If your baby is sick, teething, or just wants some extra love, there’s nothing wrong with throwing in an extra nursing session here and there. This transition is hard and sometimes a little cuddle time is all you need to make things better. There were plenty of days when I gave in to the whining and yanking on my t-shirt, but I tried to make sure it didn’t become part of our routine.
Stay Busy
One of the best things you can do during the weaning process is to stay busy. As your toddler gets older, they can be easily distracted by so many different things. I knew that Weston never asked to nurse if we were out of the house, so I made sure to take a few extra trips to Target and a friend’s house. If you know there are certain things that always trigger a nursing request, try to skip those things altogether.
Out of Sight, Out of Mind
I’m notorious for wearing tank tops around the house year round. My entire wardrobe is made up of pajamas and workout clothes (all of which are low cut tank tops). I started wearing bigger t-shirts and sweatshirts as we crept closer and closer to the end of our breastfeeding journey. Believe it or not, this cut down Weston’s requests to breastfeed. I wasn’t dangling my boobs in his face every time I bent down to pick him up or clean the house. It made a huge difference.
Create a Special Bonding Time Outside of Breastfeeding
Just because you’re done breastfeeding doesn’t mean that amazing bonding time has to be a thing of the past. Find another special way to bond with your child. I’m all about routines, so instead of nursing him to sleep for naps, I rock him and read him a book before laying him down. We also have “relax time” for a half an hour before bed each night. We turn down the lights, make him some milk, and cuddle on the couch before its time to go to sleep. He always prefers to sit on my lap (sorry daddy) and that makes me feel like we still have that special bonding session right before bed.
Don’t Forget about You
- Weaning is hard on both mom and baby. When it comes to the mama side of things, there are several important things to remember.
- Your body is still making milk… which can make things painful. Try your best to cut back slowly so that you don’t have to deal with engorgement and breast pain. If you find weaning to be a bit painful, try these breast therapy packs to help with engorgement.
- Don’t be afraid to pump if you’re feeling extra full, but don’t completely empty your breasts. Express just enough to take away the discomfort.
- Moms can feel tearful, moody, or mildly depressed after weaning. This could be due to a drop in prolactin and oxytocin. This is totally normal and should go away within a few weeks.
- Mood swings and anxiety are also common when a woman starts weaning. Don’t forget those awesome hormones that help us grow and nourish a baby are still at play.
When, how, and if you decide to wean your child is completely up to you. Weaning is a difficult and emotional journey for most (myself included). I’ve had my days where I wasn’t sure that I wanted it to end, but that’s only because I’m realizing that my tiny baby is growing up way too quickly. Knowing that something is happening for the last time is a sadness that’s hard to put into words (may or may not be crying as I type this). But in the end, I know that weaning our toddler was the best decision for me and my family. Whatever your reasons, I hope that these tips can help lighten the load of weaning. If you have any questions, drop them in the comments below or connect with me on Facebook or Instagram. Best of luck, mama.
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